We usually take it for granted that when our child finishes pre-school (kindergarten in the Yeshiva system, nursery in the public school setting) at around age five, s/he will continue to Pre1A.  However, this is not always the case as some children need to repeat the kindergarten year.

Holding Back: Pros and Cons

While interviewing local school staff and parents for this article, we were struck by the unanimity with which everyone recommended a child repeating preschool when there is a doubt about readiness for school the next year.  Educators acknowledged that some children may feel stigmatized, but with correct handling the outcome would be beneficial.

The preference for delaying a child’s promotion is based on observing the experiences of children who start school before they are ready.  A child with social delays is likely to suffer from bullying and/or social exclusion; academic delays mean constant struggles to keep pace with the curriculum.  This often leads to chronic frustration during the child’s formative years, along with a failure to benefit from his/her education.  By contrast, these educators have witnessed many cases where the same type of child matured during the repeated year and thrived in Pre1A.  These children often become class leaders, boosting their self-esteem, and leading to a desirable outcome.

Why Holding Back Has Become More Accepted Today

• Accumulated Experience – Educators have seen the benefits of delaying children.
• Increased Awareness of the Costs of Pushing Ahead – There are long-term consequences when a child’s school experience has been negative.
• Higher Expectations at School – Children are starting “school” earlier than ever, with many attending playgroup at age two.  By age five, these children are used to a classroom-like setting and are ready to learn.
• Increased Number of Children Repeating Preschool – As awareness of the benefits of repeating has risen, the stigma has decreased and more children repeat the year.  Thus, the age range and the average age of the typical Pre1A class have increased, further handicapping the less mature members of the class.

Which Children are Candidates for Repeating

Teachers may decide that a child is not ready for school if s/he displays the following in pre-school:

• Social Delays – Lack of positive interactions with peers, tendency to get into fights, inappropriate responses to teachers (i.e., saying “no” when given directions).
• Academic Delays – Trouble learning the letters, following the thread of narratives, answering questions.
• Impulsiveness – Difficulty behaving in an age appropriate manner, tendency to hit.
• Fine/Gross Motor Delays – Difficulty holding and using crayons, scissors, etc.  “Klutziness” in sports-related activities, like running and jumping.
• Delay in Self Help Skills – Excessive dependence on teachers for bathroom, eating, etc.
• Constant Desire to Play – Lack of interest, inability to sit and pay attention during circle time.  This may be a normal child who just isn’t “ready.”

These factors all indicate that a child will have trouble adjusting to “real” school.  When delays are compounded by the child’s late birthday, within two months of school’s cut-off date (often December 31), the school staff is likely to recommend that the child postpone entry into Pre1A.

For girls, social awkwardness is often considered the more serious problem than academic delays, since status in the classroom depends on one’s social skills (although academic proficiency is helpful, too).  For boys, the academic side is more important, since “learning” is emphasized so much in their curriculum.  Delays in physical coordination may make it impossible for a child to join in the recess games crucial for social success.  Behavior challenges are as serious a problem as academic delays.  With tutoring and/or resource room sessions, an otherwise well-adjusted child might be able to handle school, whereas a child who cannot behave appropriately may need constant disciplining and may experience social problems.

A child, who is academically gifted but lags socially, emotionally, or physically, is likely to benefit from the extra year in pre-school.  It will be the responsibility of the teachers and parents to find ways to enrich the curriculum in order keep him/her stimulated.  The repeat year is also beneficial for the child who is academically deficient.  The child might catch up during the extra year, or the maturity s/he gains might make it easier to cope or to excel in other areas.

Making a Decision

Ideally, pre-school staff should begin discussing the repeating preschool option in the middle of the year.  Unless it is a clear-cut immaturity issue (the child has a late birthday and/or is acting a little “young”), parents should have their child evaluated.  The evaluation process, provided free of charge by the Board of Education, may yield crucial information about the source of the child’s delays.  Early intervention in the form of speech, physical, or occupational therapies may be crucial for the child’s future success.

Parents may also intervene during the kindergarten year and the following summer to help their child.  Having a parent review the alphabet, colors, shapes, and other material learned in school may diminish academic delays.  Reading stories, discussing the parsha, and asking questions may help the child remember better and grasp concepts more easily.  Social delays may be mitigated through supervised play dates or through social skills classes for more severe deficits.  These types of interventions help the parent learn more about the child’s problems.  If they do not work, the parent knows that the deficits are deep-rooted or the child isn’t ready.

Sometimes, a child experiences a maturity spurt over the summer.  If the parents are convinced that their child has made sufficient progress, they may re-open the question of whether to repeat the year.

It is not always clear, even to the school staff, whether the child must repeat.  Parents may decide to make the adjustment to Pre1A easier on their child by postponing it a year.  In fact, parents with older sons in yeshiva are more likely to opt to have a boy repeat kindergarten.

Parents should be aware that when a child who was a candidate for repeating preschool moves directly into Pre1A, it is possible that s/he will have to repeat Pre1A or a higher grade.  Each year, the stigma increases—parents may be taking a high-stakes gamble when they reject the option to repeat preschool.

Handling the Repeated Year

Once parents have decided to repeat the child’s preschool year, they should foster friendships over the summer with classmates who will also repeat the year.  The school should ensure that children who are repeating the year are assigned a different teacher and classroom than the one that they had the previous year.  It is beneficial for the child’s self-esteem for the child to be a teacher’s helper at the onset, perhaps helping the teacher set up the classroom.

It is the responsibility of the parents to explain tactfully to their child why s/he is not entering Pre1A.  This task is smoothest when the child has a late birthday.  Parents may explain to the child that his/her birthday comes later than that of his/her classmates.  “First, you go to kindergarten with the younger children, then you go to the oldest class.”

If the child’s birthday is earlier in the year, parents may explain that many children “do kindergarten” twice.  Explaining this is much easier if parents all along avoided making references to the future: “When you are in Pre1a…” Parents should emphasize the positive: kindergarten is going to be lots of fun, you’ll enjoy it more the second time with the older children, you’ll be friends with…

The “repeater” may experience some discomfort during the first week of kindergarten as his/her former classmates go to Pre1A, but these feelings pass.  The most important factor in making the repeat successful is the parents’ attitude: if the parents are positive about the decision, the child will think positively about it.

Don’t “Just Repeat”

While that extra year in preschool may be all that some children need in order to excel for the rest of their academic career, other children need more.  The delays noted by the pre-school staff may be due to a variety of causes.  Parents might need to supplement the child’s schooling with speech, occupational, or physical therapy, social skills training, tutoring, and emotional support (i.e. tons of love).  Without this auxiliary support, the child who is left back may experience the stigma of being left back compounded by being at the bottom of the class.

Pre-emptive Strategy for Parents

The smoothest and least expensive way to have a child repeat a grade is to detect the delay as early as possible and have the child attend playgroup for an extra year.  Delays and potential problems are sometimes visible to the experienced eye by age three.  If a child has a late birthday or if a child is “difficult,” parents should think early about the repeated year option.

It is best to look for a playgroup with an experienced morah and to consult with her about how their child fits in with his/her peers.  While the morah may not be able to identify the source of the problem, she should be able to provide a valuable holistic appraisal.  If the morah is concerned, parents may ask a professional to observe and evaluate their child.  If they decide that another year of playgroup is warranted, the parents simply enroll the child in another playgroup the following year without the child realizing that s/he is being “held back.”

Reducing Stigmatization

It is appropriate for all parents of kindergarteners to tell their children that some of their classmates will be in kindergarten next year and others in Pre1A.  It does not matter where they are; each child is in the grade that is best for him/her.  When parents model acceptance of others and avoid judging or labeling, children are more tolerant rather than derogatory towards those who are different.  This creates a school atmosphere that is safer and emotionally healthier for everyone.

Conclusion

Successful parenting includes the willingness to see one’s child’s strengths and weaknesses clearly.  This allows parents to make decisions on the child’s behalf that may be painful in the short term.  Although repeating a year in pre-school does not always solve problems, parents are often able to improve their children’s prospects by giving “the gift of time.”