Tips for helping children get the most from their time at home after school.

Organization is Key

Parents present a tremendous gift to their children when they provide them a schedule and a set of routines for mornings and evenings during the school year.  Knowing in advance when to expect supper, when to do homework, and when to go to bed conveys a reassuring sense of order and predictability.  While adhering to a schedule comes more naturally to some people than others, this is a habit that motivated parents should try to inculcate in themselves and their children.

Children have a very long (and often hard) day at school; they appreciate when they are greeted at the door with a welcoming/positive word.  It is a good policy for the parent to avoid telephone, texting, email, and other distractions when the children return from school.  Since most of the children’s day is spent in school, parents have only the few hours between school and bedtime to interact with their children.  Discharging as many tasks as possible in advance, including supper preparation, reduces some of the pressure, allowing parents to function best.

It takes time to develop the correct schedule.  Parents and children need to learn what works better given the parents’ constraints, the children’s temperament, and the homework load.  These factors change from year to year.

This article assumes that a parent is home when the children return from school; this is not always the case, but some of the tips may apply nevertheless.  Parents may wish to consider the consequent disruption to the children’s routine before attending discretionary evening events such as simchas.

The Child’s Knapsack

Part of the daily routine should consist of going through the child’s knapsack to find the parents’ homework: tests to sign, permission slips, forms to complete, and notes from the school or the teacher.  Depending on the child’s maturity, either the parent or the child performs this task. It is nice to have a designated place for each child to put school-related material, perhaps a colored bin or magazine holder. The object here is to insure that there are no last minute signatures or other surprises the next morning.  Some parents refuse to sign anything in the morning that was not submitted to them the previous night.

While unloading the knapsack, the parent or child may enter due dates, tests, and events on a large wall calendar.  Small, colorful sticky notes let notations stand out.  This is also a good time to schedule trips to the library to obtain books necessary for book reports and the like.  For some families, it is best not to delay the library visit until the child is available; the parent may pick a few eligible books at his/her convenience and let the child choose.

Going through the knapsack is also a good time to organize the knapsack, discarding obsolete papers, restoring order, and resupplying pens/pencils.  An orderly knapsack may lead to a more orderly desk at school; at the least, it provides the child with a good example.

Some children never seem to bring home handouts from their teacher.  Parents may request that the teacher actually put the material into the knapsack so that the child and the parent are aware of the assignment.  Inculcating a sense of responsibility may need to wait a few years for these children.

Homework Strategies

Generally, when the children return home from school, they need a snack, and a chance to talk.  In some families, the children must complete their homework before they may play; this is convenient because it avoids the need to find the children, interrupt their play, and force them back into “school mode.”  However, many children have a need to unwind after school; they simply cannot settle into their homework until they have time to play.

It is helpful to create a special homework area equipped with supplies, such as paper, pencils/erasers, and crayons. Desktop organizers are useful in reducing clutter.  The kitchen table or a spot easily supervised by a parent is convenient as children may work on their own with easy access to a parent for questions and/or moral support.  Siblings prone to fighting with each other should be seated as separately as possible.

Homework time is more productive if the parent reviews the assignments with the child to insure that the child understands what is expected of him/her.  This is especially true for long-term assignments (reports, projects, etc.), which might overwhelm the child.  Parents should be ready to coach the child, keep him/her focused, and work out strategies for accomplishing the work, without actually doing the homework.  Otherwise, the child may sit at the table with the materials and the assignment without accomplishing anything.  If there is a test in the near future, parents may ask the child how s/he plans to study and offer to help with the studying. Without active parental involvement, strong work ethics and effective study skills may never develop.

A timer is a useful homework accessory, since it is an objective way to set and mark time.  It may be used to summon the children from playtime to homework.  It may be deployed for breaking up an overwhelming assignment: “Let’s see how many math problems you are able to do in five minutes.”  The timer may also schedule breaks and set a limit for how long the child needs to work.  If homework drags on even when the child is putting in an honest effort, parents should end the session and discuss this with the teacher.  It is possible that the teacher is pitching expectations too high or that this child simply cannot handle this quantity of work and needs a modified curriculum.

If the family has children of different ages and dismissal times, it is best to work with each “batch” of children as they arrive from school.  The parent might sit the children around a table and work with each one in turn for one-on-one chazara (oral review).  If the parent is not able to adhere to this strategy, s/he might recruit older siblings to help with this task.

Homework time is easier if the preschool siblings are not in the way; strategies include giving them their own “homework” (coloring books), a special toy, or some food.  Some parents hire babysitter help just for this time of the day, so that they may focus on the needs of the older siblings.

Ideally, fathers should conduct the chazara, since this gives them more involvement in their children’s education and conveys a greater sense of the importance of the learning.  Moreover, fathers typically are more experienced with the text-based skills needed.  Older children are generally able to stay up until the father is available.

Preparing for the Next Day

Generally, there is more time and less pressure in the evening than in the morning before carpool time.  Better to stay up a little late at night than to try to finish everything the following morning.  Knapsacks should be loaded with the homework, papers, and non-perishable snacks needed for the next day.  Additionally, it pays to lay out the following the night before:

• Clothing, especially the shoes
• Breakfast utensils and supplies
• Supplies needed to prepare perishable lunches/snacks, including plastic bags, wraps, and utensils

Bedtime Strategies

Many families serve an early supper to the children, rather than waiting for both parents to return from work.  This allows supper to be served at the optimal time for the children, allowing them to stay on schedule for bedtime.

It pays to concentrate on nothing but putting the children to bed during this critical time.  When parents are distracted, the process loses focus and drags on longer.  Rather than arguing with a child, it is more effective to simply remove him/her from the “action,” and bring him/her to the bedroom area.  Parents might offer to spend one-on-one time with a child (e.g. read a story) if s/he is in bed early.  Electronic toys and cell phones should be confiscated, since these are easily played with under the covers.  Children have been known to stay up extremely late texting, with the parents totally oblivious.  (Note: we are not endorsing cell phones for children; however, we recognize that many children in our community have access to them.)

In the Morning

Providing children with their own alarm clock encourages independence, as long as the parent checks that the child is up in time.  Morning routines work best if the parent rises before the children.  .  A morning treat such as hot cocoa helps motivate children to get up and dressed.  Parents may use other incentives to motivate children to get ready on their own; praise and recognition are usually appreciated.  Early risers might study for a test or relax before school starts.

Some children may find a checklist on the inside of the front door useful on their way out (i.e. do you have your lunch and knapsack?)

If the schedule is realistic and the family adheres to it faithfully, children should be able to meet their carpool on time and to have a productive day at school.  While it takes forethought and effort to create the optimal post-school experience, it pays off in reduced stress for everyone and fewer problems at school.