Recreational reading is an important and beloved part of childhood.  In this article, based on interviews with local parents and mechachim, we explore some issues related to children and reading.

Benefits and Drawbacks of Recreational Reading

There are many benefits associated with reading extensively.  For beginners, the only way to become a fluent reader is to practice reading.  This is also the most effective way to build vocabulary.  Reading enhances essential communication skills, especially writing.  Avid readers are often successful students.

Additionally, reading teaching children to understand and appreciate people from other cultures or who face different challenges.  This may help children be more tolerant and empathetic to those who are different.

Not least, reading provides many children with hours of enjoyment in the safe environment of their home.  As with any activity, when taken to extremes, excessive reading may also lead to problems.  A child who is absorbed in a book may neglect important activities, such as homework, sleep, chores, and exercise.   Children who are very avid readers may need to be encouraged to take a break

Another potential obstacle with recreational reading is that children may absorb unwholesome facts and attitudes from books.  This is why parents and mechanchim view unrestricted reading with concern.

Why Restrict Reading Material?

Material that we read makes an impression on us.  Ideas pop up unbidden and cannot be excised.  Parents sacrifice much in order to raise their children to stay within their values, paying for Yeshiva tuition and expensive housing in order to be in the “right” environment.

Moreover, the values of society at large have become increasingly at odds with the values of our community.  Parents who were brought up with unrestricted reading might find it useful to spend a little time in the children’s section of the local library to better understand the need for filtering.  Children’s books written after 1980 are more likely to include problematic content.

In addition, our community has become more sensitive to content at variance with our hashkafa.  It is not uncommon for adults to re-read books that they enjoyed as children and wonder why they were allowed to read them.  Inappropriate content is likely to make more of an impression on today’s children, who are often raised in a more sheltered environment than their parents were.

The Limits of Restriction

Parents should be aware that restricting the children’s reading merely allows parents to postpone their children’s exposure.  As they become older and more independent, children are able to obtain “forbidden fruit” if they want it.  In addition, older children possibly will encounter the situations, language, and practices that their parents have been trying to filter from their reading.

Therefore, filtering should be accompanied by education and communication.  As they mature, children need to learn their parents’ perspectives about some of the less pleasant aspects of life.  Parents may need to get advice from their own mentors in order to learn how to present the information.

Moreover, parents cannot forever prescreen their children’s reading.  Some reading restrictions should never disappear, since not everything is appropriate even for adults.  On the other hand, children will grow into adults who need to deal with all kinds of unpalatable truths and situations.  Part of the parents’ mission is to help children develop the ability to deal with the variety of situations that life brings them while filtering out what they need not or should not expose themselves to.

Setting the Family’s Reading Policy

It is useful to consult with the family Rav and/or mentors before making decisions about how open or restrictive to be with the children’s reading.

A family’s reading policy will work better if it meshes with the family’s hashkafa and the parents’ own interests and pursuits.  Otherwise, children perceive inconsistency.  Where parents themselves are more open to the outside world, it probably makes sense to permit a wider range of literature.  For a more Yeshivish family, whose children are comfortable living the more sheltered kollel-type lifestyle, a policy of exclusively Judaic literature may fit.  If the parents do not want their children to read a book or a magazine, they should not leave it around even if the material is appropriate for adults.

The family’s social context also makes a difference.  If the children’s friends and classmates are all reading and discussing a popular series, it imposes a heavy burden to prohibit one’s children from reading those books.  If they are stricter or more lenient than other families in the area, parents should make sure to explain why to their children.

It is better for children to be permitted to read a wider range of books if the alternative may be that they seek less wholesome entertainment, such as some movies or unrestricted internet.

Families should be careful about not undermining each other’s reading policies.  This means not lending books to each other or allowing reading during play dates without parental consent. It is preferable for children not to bring books to school unless the book is on the Yeshiva’s white list.

What Some Parents Are Filtering

Parents have different sensitivities and priorities about what they do not want their children to be exposed to. Most parents prefer to filter male/female content.  Depending on their hashkafa and on their taste, parents have been known to use any of the following criteria to exclude books:

• Content about other religions
• Beliefs that contradict Torah hashkafa (Paganism or apikorsus)
• Inappropriate language
• Bad middos depicted favorably: disrespect to parents and authority, chutzpah, rebelliousness
• Glorification of role models who behave inappropriately
• Violence, cruelty, vulgarity
• Unhappy family situations
• Depiction of activities inconsistent with parents’ hashkafa.

Parents should be aware that Jewish reading material should also be checked, as some may contain some of the issues listed above.  Jewish magazines may have articles that explore realities of contemporary life that parents might not want their children to learn about prematurely.

Parents should be aware that while some books in a series may be OK, others in the same series may be objectionable.

Non-fiction books, especially science and current events, may also be problematic for some, since they often present conflicting hashkafa and/or images that parents may not want in their home.

As children mature, parents may wish to find ways to gradually introduce some of this material so that children may learn about science, current events and politics and develop into informed citizens.  Otherwise, working in a non-Orthodox environment or interacting with people from other communities might be problematic.  Moreover, some parents may feel that the traditional values beautifully portrayed in some of the older children’s classics may be worthwhile for their children to experience, even if there are passages to which some may object.  It may be useful for parents to discuss these issues explicitly with their children, so that the children understand what they should and what they should not absorb from such books.

Filtering Techniques

It is much easier to enforce policy on reading material when children are not brought to the library or to bookstores.  It is also a good idea to explain parental policy to grandparents and anyone else who might purchase books for the children.

One filtering technique is to borrow or acquire books from a “white list” of pre-screened material.  Some Yeshivas have compiled such lists and may be willing to share them with parents.

Another option is for parents to screen the books themselves by reading or skimming the entire book.  A short cut is to begin by rejecting any book where the two main characters are a boy and a girl (unless they are siblings) and to read the last paragraph of the middle chapters. This might not catch all problems. Pictures should also be examined, since they are more powerful than words.

Staying in Tune with Your Children

Whether parents believe in stricter or looser control of their children’s reading, parents should try to read or at least skim through their children’s books.  Doing this helps parents enter their children’s world and examine issues that their children face.  Discussing books with the children is a nice way to facilitate open communication.  It’s also a great springboard for sharing and imparting parental values that will hopefully stay with the children for life.  A strong and open parent/child relationship makes it much easier for parents to convey their values and for children to internalize them.